My Blog Week: November 22 to November 28

A Word on the Week

Ageing Brats

Back in the mid-sixties, let’s say, two children were born. We’ll name them Luann and Benji. Their parents had an original view of child-rearing: they believed that fairness was a matter of taking turns, always, in everything. Luann was allowed to have dessert at one meal, Benji the next. Luann got a birthday party one year, while Benji got Christmas presents; the next year, vice versa. Naturally, Luann and Benji grew up hating each other, and now in their late 50s are two of the worst adults ever to stalk the planet.

While (in real life) I’ve never heard of anything so extreme, it’s true that taking turns, as a notion of fairness, sits unexamined in a lot of heads. There is a mature lesson to be derived, but how often does this “solution” to conflicting claims get taught, as opposed to dictated, and internalized on a rote basis? Swings on the playground, window seats in the car…or opportunities to be the party-in-charge, are limited resources. A few people can get a lot, a lot of people can get something…or one person can get everything, and everyone else, nothing. If resources did not diminish with use, taking turns would make everyone (allowed to participate) King or Queen of Inequality for their prescribed time. At alternate times, only a peasant. And when resources run out, any disposition disappoints. 

The mature lesson of limited resources is—sadly for many—reward in sacrifice, happiness for others.

Some Republicans have been “signaling”, as the news media have it, that they’ll raise a fuss at Biden’s picking his own cabinet. They had a turn; they took a great portion of things needed by others, and if they can find it in their hearts to be happy that competence is back, trustworthy temperament is back, belief in the environmental emergency is back, a preference for diplomacy over saber-rattling is back, their hearts are too many sizes too small for that speck of humanity to show on the X-rays. At any rate, “I took my turn and now I’m going to spoil yours”, is a bad look for adults. Presidents traditionally get to choose their cabinets. Voters get to choose their representatives.

And when the turn is over, Luann or Benji needs to bow out.